As a child of the 70s and a Rat in the Chinese zodiac, I find myself in a marriage where my husband and I have been sleeping separately for several years. While we are happy during the day, at night we become like good neighbors, retreating to our own spaces, each with a smartphone in hand, sailing into the realm of dreams.
For me, sleep is a struggle. Even when my eyelids feel heavy, the slightest disturbance can jolt me awake. My brain's sleep commander is always awake, ignoring the desperate need for rest in the rest of my body. I end up tossing and turning, sweating, and throwing my own little temper tantrum in bed.
On the other hand, my husband is the epitome of serene slumber. He can fall asleep the moment his head hits the pillow, while I envy his ability to do so. My sleep routine involves going to bed early, avoiding any form of disturbance, and waking up at four in the morning to spend some quality time with my phone.
My husband, however, treasures the early morning hours for sleep. This caused arguments between us, leading to the decision to sleep separately, which ultimately alleviated many of our troubles. However, when our son returned during the Lunar New Year, I had to share a bed with my husband again. As I age, I found myself needing more quiet and rest, and surprisingly, my husband agreed to sleep with the lights off.
However, as I woke up early to quietly read and write, my husband seemed to be sleeping more soundly than before, leaving me to enjoy my activities without any interruptions.
In the end, navigating the quirks of marriage and sleep has been a journey of compromise and understanding, ultimately leading to a peaceful coexistence during the night.